


Baby Ben

by jamesilver



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Knights of Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Backstory, Multi, Young Ben Solo, and then going through knights of ren, eventually the rating is needed, tw will be given, we are starting at age 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-05-15 15:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5791630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesilver/pseuds/jamesilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We start with Ben Solo, age 5, who finds an awesome silver stick in Uncle Luke's bag. We will then follow him to the resistance base, where he will become friends with Poe. Then, through his Jedi training, and then to when he slaughters everyone (where the rating will come in) and finally to joining the Knights of Ren. It's gonna be a long one. I hope you're excited.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So this first chapter is just a prologue and there will be lots more. Also thank god we have Captain Obvious (C3PO) to break the silence lmao.

Ben Solo, Age 5

 

He could hear them talking in the other room. It wasn’t too often that his uncle came to visit and when he did he always brought Ben something cool. But this time was different. 

He had hurried in with an urgency Ben had never seen before and didn’t even acknowledge Ben standing with open arms, wanting a hug. Uncle Luke went straight to his parents and they were speaking in hushed tones behind closed doors. Grown-up stuff. He couldn’t hear the words they were saying, but he knew from the tone that it wasn’t anything good. 

Ben was curious about what what was happening, but he was even more curious about the silver stick poking out of Uncle Luke’s bag that he had dropped just inside the door. Quickly, he crept over to it, careful not to make any sound so he wouldn’t get in trouble for snooping. He held out his hand, hovering just over the bag. It was so tempting, but he didn't want to get caught. 

Ben looked over his shoulder, staring straight at the door. He wanted to know what the silver stick was. Something inside of him wanted to feel it in his hands. Slowly, while the five year old was busy looking at the door, Luke Skywalker's lightsaber floated up and fit itself in Ben Solo's hands. 

His head whipped around and he gaped, wondering how he could be holding it. The young child completely forgot about the adults in the other room, and held the silver stick straight in front of him with both hands- elbows locked. He tried to be careful with it, seeing as he didn't know what it could possibly be, and he wondered if it did anything else. 

The doorknob handle began to twist, but young Ben didn't notice. Just as the door silently swung open, he discovered how to turn it on. His mouth continued to hang open as he was illuminated with green. Luke Skywalker couldn't believe his eyes from his place in the doorway. Han Solo was confused and wondering how Ben found the lightsaber or even how he managed to turn it on, and Leia Organa stared in horror as she saw her son being drawn into the mess that tore her brother and father into pieces. 

"Oh dear. Why, it seems young Ben Solo has found your lightsaber, Master Luke," C3PO said from his place behind Han. Ben jumped at the sound, frozen in place, eyes wide and staring at Luke. 

“Ben Organa-Solo, what are you doing with that? Turn it off right now,” Leia sternly began, wanting her son as far away from the lightsaber as possible. Before she could launch herself into mother mode too far, Luke walked over and kneeled beside the five year old. 

"Can you turn it off?" He asked, calmly. Ben was still frozen, looking Luke directly in the eyes, but he managed to eventually turn the lightsaber off without hurting himself or anyone else. Luke put his hands over Ben's on the lightsaber, carefully pulling it from the child's grasp. 

"Uncle Luke," he began softly. "What is that?" 

Luke Skywalker stood, keeping his lightsaber with him this time. "It's called a lightsaber. How did you know it was there? It was at the bottom of my bag." 

"I didn't go snooping, I swear. I promise, Mommy, I promise." The young child struggled through the words, trying to hold back tears. "It was on the top of the bag. I didn't even touch it, I promise. I wasn't going to it just put itself in my hand, I'm not lying, I promise." 

Leia turned pale, knowing exactly what that meant. Ben ran over to her, and threw his small arms around her legs, crying. She knelt down and held him, sending a grave look at Luke. There was so much going on. First, Luke comes in and tells them that they have to evacuate- move to a Resistance base because the First Order is trying to kill him- and now her son has fallen victim to the Force. What was she going to do? How was she going to hold her family together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Feel free to leave comments and give feedback and/ or message me on tumblr 


	2. Future Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben moves to the Resistance Base and is struck with the wonder of it all. He also makes his first friend. (This won't rip your heart out quite yet but you know that it will)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been looked over by anyone for any sort of editing mistakes so please please please if you see anything or would like to edit future chapters, leave a comment or message me @bumblebae8.tumblr.com or something please. And if not, then bear with me for this.

Ben Solo, Age 5

Ben had never moved before. He had lived in the same house all his life. But this...This was so much cooler. This was the Resistance Base. 

He stood in the doorway, watching the organized chaos in front of him. There were people in battle armor, species he had never seen before, and pilots. You could always tell the pilots. They had the coolest helmets in the galaxy, as far as Ben was concerned. His parents and uncle slipped around him and entered the mess. But as they walked in, things got quiet, except for a few whispers. It was Luke, the last Jedi, and General Organa. Of course they would be in awe. For many of them, this battle that they were fighting was just against the Imperial Army, the First Order, whatever name it had. The Dark Side. Most of the men and women in this room had never seen Luke Skywalker in person- had only heard of him in tales. The son of Darth Vader. 

The room reached silence, only communicating in glances of every nature. Ben watched his mother take a deep breath. 

"Thank you all for being here. Thank you for being loyal to this cause. We must defeat The First Order before they can defeat us. We cannot let them take over, and we are the hope for this galaxy. I believe with the help of our friends in the Republic, we can accomplish this. I am glad that those of you that are here have made your trip safely, and I would for us to take a moment now to remember those who were not as fortunate." Leia paused, the crowd taking on sorrowful expressions. 

She inhaled as she looked at the faces of those before her. "I want you all to understand that this will be no easy task. The First Order is larger than us in many ways. They have more people, more allies, more money. But we have loyalty. We have comradery. We have a unifying cause. And we have the last Jedi. You need to understand that the First Order will stop at nothing to rid themselves of Luke Skywalker, and as his supporters- the opposers of the Dark Side- we will be their main target. And we will be ready. So. Let's get to work.” 

With those last words, the crowd sprung into action and Ben saw his parents and his uncle being shuffled away deeper into the room. He continued to stand in the doorway, unsure of what to do or where to go. It seemed that the pilots were all heading into a room off to the right, so the small child slipped past legs, ducked beneath boxes, and peeked around the doorway into the other room. 

It was smaller, with a single piece of “furniture” in the center. It was for holograms, Ben knew that much. The pilots and commanders and captains gathered around, and one of them activated the holographic screen. In front of them appeared many of the solar systems, zoomed out way too far for Ben to make any sense of. There was a lot of talking going on, but everyone still managed to listen closely as those who had recently arrived were debriefed on “the position of the First Order’s troops”, whatever that meant. They began to discuss the logistics of how big each of the sections were, and the five year old quickly lost interest. 

Ben turned around to find that the first room was mostly empty. And to his surprise, those few who were in the room were paying him no attention. All his life he had been told to “stop touching things” or “put that down” and “stop snooping”. His father was constantly in and out with strange objects he was taking to and from places, and his mother always kept him inside so he wouldn’t go snooping. She said the things on Dad’s ship were for other people and that it would be rude to go snooping on thing that weren’t theirs. 

When his mom wasn’t paying too much attention, his dad would sneak him on the ship. The Millennium Falcon. Ben didn’t spend as much time on the ship as he would have liked, but knew every inch of it- studied the deck structure from its drawings and knew what every pipe was, where every corridor led, and of course all of the hiding spots. His dad always told him that one day he would get to go with him on his trips. It would be him and his dad and Chewbacca (although the Wookie wasn’t too happy about having a kid on board, it would mean the Millennium Falcon could have a pilot, a copilot, and someone to shoot the guns. Ben liked the guns, but he secretly wanted to learn to be his dad’s copilot as well). 

With his imagination running wild of all of the places he, his dad and Chewbacca would go, Ben walked across the room to further explore the outside. He had been so eager to see inside when he arrived that he had completely forgotten to look around. The sunlight hit his face, momentarily blinding him. But as his eyes adjusted, his jaw stretched closer to the ground. There were more x-wings out there than he had ever imagined could be in a place at one time. 

There was one to the left a ways that was particularly interesting. He didn’t know why, but he felt drawn to it. There was something about this one x-wing that just looked different from all of the others. It might have been because it was dustier- well worn while the others looked newer- or maybe it was because the covering on top was chipped and shattered, or even that one of the landing apperatices looked bent and in need of repairs, but Ben knew that this x-wing was the coolest. It looked like it had actually been in battle. 

He walked up to it, still in awe. The landing wheels were about half his height, and he looked up from underneath the plane. The bottom panel had been taken off and there was a toolbox sitting next to the wheels. But it wasn’t being fixed. No, it was being modified. It was being made to fit a droid. Sure, the T-65 models like this one had a place for a droid behind the pilot, but this one was being changed to fit a different kind of droid. 

“It used to fit an R2 model, but now it’s gonna fit a BB model.” The voice that appeared from behind him startled Ben. He turned around to see a child around his age, maybe a couple of years older if Ben was being honest. He was wearing an oversized pilot helmet that was old and dusty and slid around on his head when he moved. Which he did. A lot. Ben stared at him not sure if he would ever stop moving. The boy looked back and forth, this way and that, jumped up and down a little, picked his feet up and put them back down, shifted from side to side. Never still. 

After staring at the fidgeting boy for a couple of moments, Ben decided that maybe if he started speaking the boy might stop moving. "Why would you modify a T-65 to fit a BB droid when the T-67 fit BB droids?" Ben had no such luck.

"Because this X-wing is gonna be mine someday." The kid vibrated with his excitement. "I'm gonna be a pilot. Just like my mom. I'm gonna be the best pilot in the whole universe." With the last sentence, he jumped up and down and spread his arms wide. When he came back down from the jump, he jostled a little, his helmet dipping and shifting and covered his whole face. He pushed it up with his hands so that his eyes were visible below the visor. "Who are you, anyway?"

"My name is Ben." 

"I'm Poe. Poe Dameron. Future best pilot ever. I like pancakes. Do you like pancakes? What do you want to be when you grow up? What's your favorite color? Who're your parents? I haven't seen you before. Do you wanna meet my droid? He's not finished yet, but almost." 

Ben stood rooted to the ground, unsure of what do to, or which question to answer first, so he just chose to not answer any of them. "Well?" the future pilot prompted. The younger boy continued to stare as a response. "Do you have any friends?" The question seemed simple enough, nice enough. The jittery child got mostly still for a moment, the only moving part of his body was his foot as he swiveled it around, watching it. The continued looking down while he spoke. "Cause I don't. So...if you don't have any friends and I don't have any friends then maybe you and I could be friends." 

Poe bit his lip, awaiting a response. Tentatively, Ben said, "I've never had any friends." The five year old had been mostly isolated during his life. It was mostly just him and his mom. His dad would go away on jobs and his uncle Luke came to visit sometimes, but he had never really interacted with other kids his age, or close to his age. He wasn't quite sure how friendship works.

The older child's eyes shot up. "Then I'll be your friend."

"How do you do that?" Ben asked. 

"I'm not quite sure. I haven't really had any either but I'm pretty sure I know how it works."

"How do you become friends?" 

The jumpy child took a couple steps closer Ben. "Not really sure. But my mom said that if you want to be someone's friend, you say something nice to them and then ask if they want to do something. I like your hair. Do you want to go play? I can show you parts of my droid." 

Ben stared with wide eyes, once again unsure of how to respond. "I think that you're supposed to say yes and then we go play," Poe mock whispered. 

"Okay," Ben said. 

"Then let's go!" Poe spun on his heel and began to run. "My droid is gonna be orange!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lil Ben encounters the Dark Side for the first time and 9 year old Poe is a lot smarter and insightful than he lets on.

Ben Solo, Age 7

"Nyooom, nyyyoom. Faster, Solo, don’t let them catch up, nyoom.” Poe weaved through the field that had become their imaginary galaxy over the years, carrying his model X-wing around the invisible asteroids.

“I’m right behind you, Dameron, but they’re gaining on us. We need to find cover, and quick!” His younger companion, Ben Solo, raced behind him, tracing the older boy’s exact steps so as to also avoid the invisible asteroids.

“I have an idea.” Poe pointed to an area in the field where the grasses were taller. “We can hide there, in that debris, and ambush them.”

“Good thinking,” Ben said, leading the way. Both boys crouched down, although the grass would have been tall enough to cover both their heads anyway. They laid on their stomachs, propped on their elbows, each with their X-wing toy in front of their wide eyes. “Who shoots first?” Ben asked. “You shoot first? I shoot first.”

“How come you get to shoot first?” Poe asked, temporarily pausing their game. His arms fell with exasperation, his toy sticking into the dirt. The older boy’s dark eyebrows knit together, obviously jealous.

Ben rolled onto one side, facing Poe. “You always shoot first.”

“I was born first. And I’m our main pilot,” Poe argued.

“Can’t I just shoot first for once?” Ben whined.

“I thought this was a blitz attack anyway.” Poe rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t that mean we both shoot first?”

“But that’s not fair,” Ben complained.

“Oh, come on, aren’t your parents always saying ‘Life isn’t fair.’”

“This isn’t real life though, is it? So, shouldn’t I get to shoot first every now and then?”

Poe sighed, rolling his eyes once more. “Fine. But if you want to be the main pilot next time then just say so. Don’t go changing things in the middle of a game.”

Ben rolled his eyes in response. He wasn't trying to change things. Maybe the main pilot didn't always have to be so entitled.

"Alright, you ready, Solo?" Poe was back in game mode. "You go and I'll cover you." Ben nodded. "Three...two…—"

"Boys!" Both children's heads snapped up from their position in the grass. "Boys, you both need to come inside right now."

Ben let out a small noise of exasperation. It was his mom. "She's bluffing," he whispered to Poe.

"Boys, it's not safe out here. We don't have time for this; we need to get everyone inside the base now."

Poe gasped. "BB8!" He leaped up, running out of the grass, followed closely by Ben.

"Go, now. Tell everyone you pass," the General told the boys. Ben began to go obediently but soon noticed Poe wasn't following him.

"Mrs. Solo— I mean, General Organa— my droid is still out there. He went into power saving mode at the other side of the field." Poe pointed. It wasn't far but it wasn't close. Leia looked at the distance critically. They had to get everyone inside, now. First Order scouts were scanning and doing checks on all the systems and were getting too close for her to breathe easy. Not only did she know how much that droid meant to the young child, she also knew that it would be a sure sign that they were there.

"Poe, listen to me carefully. I need you and Ben to get everyone between here and the main building inside, can you two do that for me?"

"But, bb8—"

"I'll go get bb8. You have to hurry.” Leia straightened. Part of her couldn’t believe she was risking her life to save a droid, but the rest of her remembered how much she and her brother love R2 and C3PO.

Minutes later, everyone was inside including Leia and bb8. It was crowded and hot, but they all packed together in the underground building. Everything above them was shut off— made to look deserted. Hopefully, everything would be convincing enough for the scouts to pass.

They had been spotted by some of the pilots doing a training in the vicinity. They weren’t exactly First Order, but with the way the First Order was set up, everyone was either friend or foe. Truly neutral space was nonexistent anymore. Everything was down to the last hope. The only place that people from the First Order and the Resistance or Republic could even end up on the same planet as each other was Zeltron, and the only reason that happened is because no one asks any questions on Zeltron. They just party.

But they were on Republic-affiliated territory. And anyone in the area who was not clearly identified as being on their side was against them. Leia crouched next to her son, praying that they were just scouts. Everyone was silent, barely breathing as they heard footsteps and talking above them.

As Leia glanced around she quickly saw that most of the children were crying. She had never noticed it before, but these children shouldn’t be here. Instinctively, she always knew that she couldn’t let her baby leave her side, but this was a compromising situation. Her child was playing in the field. If he wouldn’t have listened so well, not only would Ben and Poe both be dead, the base would be discovered. It was then that she decided it was time: Luke was right.

Ever since that day when Ben was five, she knew it was inevitable. It was in their blood, it came with the Skywalker name. Maybe that was why she wanted to give him Solo. Being a Skywalker is too dangerous. The Force is always there, always too close. And, it seemed like the men in her family did not control it— it controlled them. She herself had always found balance with the Force. No one had ever trained her and she wasn’t a Jedi, but she was alright with that. But when she held that baby in her arms for the first time she could only pray that he had enough of his father in him to disconnect a little more than her brother and father.

For five years she told herself that if it went untrained he would be fine. He would never even know. In fact, she tried to take Han and herself out of the fight against the Dark Side, for the sake of her child. Two years ago everything changed. This child was strong. Luke had said that he may even be stronger than their father. At five years old the Force called him to a lightsaber that wasn’t even his, the Force brought the lightsaber into his hands. There wasn’t any way that Leia could avoid it— Ben needed to be trained.

During the hours that they spent underground that day she finally officially accepted that fact. And watching as the other children clamped their hands over their mouths to quiet their sobs and then seeing the strength in her seven year old son’s face, she knew he was ready. He stared at the opening to the bunker the entire time. His face was strong. She had raised him to know that it was okay to cry sometimes, but she also had raised him to know that it is okay to be strong. It is okay to stand for what you believe in. Apparently, she had also raised him to know that the Resistance was something worth fighting for.

That was the day that Leia Organa officially decided to let her son grow up.

That was the day that Ben Solo first encountered the Dark Side. Leia just never found that out.

The look of determination on young Ben Solo’s face was the effect of a battle being waged in his mind. It was a scout troop above, but a different kind of scout. Not one looking to see if there really was a Resistance base, but a scout that was looking to see if there really was a young child Force sensitive enough to be reminiscent of Darth Vader.

A certain Lord Snoke was part of that mission. The scouts had been watching the base for weeks, charting patterns and watching closely. They gave enough warning to give Lord Snoke a long and close exposure to the child to properly evaluate him. That was the day that Ben Solo felt a presence in his mind that wasn’t just the Force.

It was warm, inviting, at first. It felt like the Force. It was the Force. But the warmth wasn't like that of sunlight like he usually knew. It was different. It was the kind of warm that made you sink in, and the moment it did— it was cold. Not an empty cold. A shocking, adrenaline racing, inspiring, stabbing cold. It felt like something Ben had been starving for all his life.

He was only seven.

From that day on there wasn't a single day when he didn't feel that shock. But he didn't feel Lord Snoke in his head for multiple years.

A couple weeks later, he and Poe were once again running through the fields when a Y-wing landed. Both boys spun with mouths wide open, eyes wide.

"That ship is so cool!" Poe yelled, starting to run toward the runway. Ben excitedly ran after him. Once they got close enough, there were stuck in a large crowd where the short children couldn't see anything. Everyone was crowded around, watching something.

The crowd began to move and clear as whoever they were surrounding started walking towards the main building. Once everyone was in, Ben and Poe still couldn't see anything, Poe beginning to get upset. There was a lot of quiet mumbling, and Poe tapped someone in front of him. A woman turned around and he asked her what was going on.

"General Organa has called Luke Skywalker here, but no one knows why." She turned around before either of the boys could get any more information. Ben was bouncing with excitement. Uncle Luke was here!

But then his heart sunk a little. Last time he saw Uncle Luke was when he had to move. Did they have to leave again?

In about twenty minutes the crowd had dissipated once realizing that the general and Luke were going to be in her office for a while. Ben wanted to go and play, but Poe insisted on trying to eavesdrop.

"Why?" Ben groaned, huffing.

"Because I want to hear what they're saying. No one ever tells any of the kids anything. I want to know." Poe walked over closer to the door.

"They're gonna hear you," Ben insisted.

"No, they're gonna hear you," Poe whispered back.

Ben walked over to him and tugged his arm. "Poe, let's just go and play. It's just Uncle Luke; they probably aren't talking about anything important. And, I can probably get Uncle Luke to tell me about it anyway."

"What do you mean, 'It's just Uncle Luke'? That's the whole point! It's Luke Skywalker. Whenever he shows up, something big happens. And think about it, Ben. If they don't tell us about the small things then why would they tell us about this, whatever this is? If we want to know we'll have to find out for ourselves." Poe shook Ben off and tiptoed up to the door, pressing his ear softly against the wood.

Ben rolled his eyes and say down on the floor, quietly flying his toy X-wing around. Poe would eventually get bored once he realized that the conversation wasn't anything important. At least, that's just what Ben hoped. He hoped that Uncle Luke was just here for a friendly visit. He didn't want anything big to happen again. As he sat, his eyes started to brim with tears and he set his X-wing down, trying not to cry. He didn't want to leave his friend. Poe was his first and only friend and he liked living here. But, Ben somehow got the feeling that this wouldn't last.

With a sniffle and a couple of deep breaths, his tears were gone. He picked up his toy and began to play with it again, but soon after Poe walked up behind him.

"Bored?" Ben asked him without turning around.

"Uhm, uh, yeah. Yeah. Boring. That's a boring conversation. I don't want to listen anymore. Let's— go play outside." He sounded rushed and weird and when Ben turned around Poe's face was pale and splotchy. Something was wrong.

"Poe, what did you hear?" Ben asked.

"Ya know, I couldn't exactly hear a lot of what they were saying and it wasn't entertaining anyway. I would much rather be playing with you." Poe's voice and face were very sad as he said this. Something was definitely wrong.

"Poe—" Ben began.

"Ben, can we just go play? We didn't finish that battle that we started the other day. Ya know, the one that we were playing when we had to go underground? Let's go." Without any opportunity for further conversation, Poe spun and began to walk outside. Ben shrugged and decided that he had to follow, easily forgetting that Uncle Luke was inside as they played.

Poe tried to keep up the act and pretend to be happy. Ben only found it slightly odd that the older boy let him attack first, plan their battle strategy, be the main pilot— the things they were constantly debating about.

"Let's go, Dameron!" Ben yelled, running across the field. Poe scrambled up from his hiding position a few feet away and ran after him.

"Pew, pew, pew!" Both children ran in circles shooting at unseen TIE-fighters.

"Oh no!" Poe yelled while directly across from Ben. "I've been hit, I've been hit!" Dramatically, he fell to the ground, acting like he was dying.

"Hang on, Dameron!" Ben said back, shooting while maneuvering around the enemies to get to the boy on the ground.

"No! Solo! Keep fighting! I'm a lost cause!" Poe was laying on his back in the grass, clutching at his side, groaning in fake agony.

"I'm not leaving you," Ben said, still headed to his friend's aid. "Stay with me, Poe." He finally found his was over and kneeled next to his friend, still playing completely. "You're gonna be alright."

"Ben," Poe whispered, still pretending to be dying. "Ben, I think this is our last battle together."

"Don't say things like that. That's nonsense." Ben wasn't understanding. He didn't realize that Poe meant those words.

"Ben," A still 'dying' nine year old Poe Dameron put his hand on his best, and only, friend's shoulder. "Sometimes you have to accept that you'll have to leave people behind for the greater good." With those last words, Poe Dameron dramatically died. He had constructed the act well enough that it could be passed off as the battle that they were playing, but the real meaning went directly over Ben's head. He didn't understand that his friend meant those words for real. He didn't understand that Poe knew it was time for him to leave.

Ben would never forget that fake battle. He would always remember how smart his friend was. It was Poe's own way of telling him that he was going to have to leave, and that things were going to be okay.

Luke stayed for a couple of days. Most of that time was spent in Leia’s office and usually Han Solo was in there as well. Ben noticed that both of his parents seemed stressed and worried and over the course of those couple of days kept telling him that they loved him so much. Ben was just confused as to why not once did Uncle Luke come over and play with him like he used to. Everything in his life was changing. He just hadn’t quite caught on yet.

What he didn’t know was that although Leia had called Luke to the base to discus beginning Ben’s Jedi training, the three of them had not quite made a decision of whether or not now was the best time.

“I’m planning on undertaking many young children and training them. Soon. I want to do this soon, Leia.” Luke sat with his back to the wall watching as a distressed mother paced around the small room in front of him, Han leaning against the wall with a sad look on his face. “Leia. I know how hesitant you are about this but the longer he stays here the more he’ll get attached.”

“He already is attached, Luke.” Leia spun at him, infuriated. “Don’t talk about this like my son doesn’t have a place here. Don’t talk about this like it isn’t affecting me and Han.”

“Leia, you need to look at this objectively,” Luke tried to reason.

“I can’t. I can’t, Luke. You don’t understand. This is my son. Han and I may have not been the best parents but we still are his parents. I know what the Force does. I know that exposing him to that training will make him vulnerable to the Dark Side and I know that—“

“Leia, I promise you—“ Luke began.

“You can’t promise me anything. And let me finish. Neither of us saw our father fall to the Dark Side but we know that he fell hard and took a lot of people down with him. We were told that Darth Vader killed Anakin Skywalker. I don’t want anyone to talk that way about my son someday. From the moment that boy was born, I never wanted him to see a lightsaber, let alone hold one, let alone have one of his own. I wanted to take Han and myself to a planet far away from all of this madness, for him to never even know you or know anything about his family history. I wanted that boy to be safe.

“But, here we are. Seven years later and I’m actually considering letting my son go into Jedi training. I am well aware that once he stars this process there is no going back and I understand that for him this process has already started. I know that it’s naive of me to think that I could shelter him from this, but then go ahead and call me naive; I don’t care. I can’t let the Force tear him apart. Luke. You know better than even I do about what this could do to him. You almost fell to the Dark Side yourself. And to look at this objectively? Think about all the destruction that would ensue if we had another Darth Vader. Bgty7y then you would be old and grey— who would defeat him?” Han stared at Leia, speechless.

“Leia,” Luke began, before stopping. He didn’t know what to say to her. He didn’t know how to make her feel better about this, but he had to try. “He won’t be alone. Ben will never be alone. I have already hand-selected two dozen children to be part of this next generation of Jedi and you just have to trust me.”

There was a lot riding on this. Not just for Ben and Leia and Han, but for Luke. For everyone. If Ben was as strong as he seemed to be at this age, there was no telling what he could do. He could save the world, or destroy it. Either way, everyone in that small room knew he would be the person to bring balance to the Force.

“Okay.”

  
__________

That night, Ben had a dream. He was alone, in the dark. He could hear someone calling his name in the distance and he tried to run towards it, but it never sounded any closer. It seemed hopeless.

Finally in the distance he saw a light. A small light. After running for what felt like hours he reached a small candle. Unfortunately, he had taken so long to run to the candle that it was about to burn out. Ben panted as he tried to catch his breath.

“Ben.” The voice was clear, yet unrecognizable. He whirled around as the candle burnt out. In the distance, another light emerged. For some reason, Ben compulsively felt the need to run to it as well. This time the candle burnt out just as he got to it. After about another minute, there was what could be assumed to be yet another candle off in the distance.

And so Ben continued like this, back and forth, for longer than he could measure. He kept getting either to the candle just before it burnt out or not being able to reach it in time at all. Eventually, he got worn out and simply sat down.

From his position on the floor he watched lights come and go. Each time, he would feel a renewed urge to run to them. He felt that if he could get to the candle in time he would be able to carry its light a short distance further and he would find something important. But he ran out of energy. It felt hopeless and there was no point anyway. He was exhausted and he knew that chasing after the candles would only exhaust him further.

Once he had caught his breath he laid down on his back and placed his hands over his eyes so that he couldn’t see the candles burn bright and diminish. It was draining. Blocking out their pull to him made it easy for him to relax into a sleep that would leave him well rested in the morning.

  
This was not the last time Ben would have this dream. For the subsequent years of his life he would chase after each candle that came about, never able to be fast enough. And, eventually, he wouldn’t even start running in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading and feel free to leave comments or message me @bumblebae8.tumblr.com 
> 
> Fic information and post dates are available on my profile.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Feel free to leave comments and give feedback and/ or message me on [tumblr](bumblebae8.tumblr.com)


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